Who do you think is the FOOL ?

One Two Three Four
Is all it took to bring me down on to the floor
If heaven is all above the sky
Why dig funeral beneath and cry
Marathon to reach the end of it
Quick bites in-between to claim all of it
If all it takes is one life
Why prove a point to every passing tide
Whats your role
Whats your rule
Who do you think is the FOOL ?

Miniature of all the creation is our existance
Waste our time seeking the creator with superstitions
Like, as if you stand a chance
Hope, an illusion to enhance
Grip a conditional stand
leave it to the flow of wind only if you dare
You wish you are one among the rare
Whats your role
Whats your rule
Who do you think is the FOOL ?

Mind shack

Make way my thoughts have tailgated
You have no clue about how well I had you accomodated
Time to change your role
Time to asile you at my window
This joint go by my rule
You may not be considered super cool
I may freeze your breathe
I may erase your thoughts
You are blinded like always
You go by my rule, its my society hereon
I declare war, I control peace
You could only live at my lease
I might ask you to leave
With no reservations to look back at ease
You are punched,your pains are unheard
You are unwanted and may never be invited
but only for the very last time

Welcome to my mind
a fight club one of a kind.

A Repeat Tape of Living(ART of Living)

So you now have a pink baby napkin
So you now have a cake on your first birthday, which you never tasted
So you now have a syllabus to beat others early
So you now have a best daddy and mommy
So you now have a collage degree
So you now have your girlfriends name in all your passwords
So you now have a job
So you now have done all your shopping
So you now have a smart ass attitude
So you now have all possible promotions
So you now have H1B visa
So you now have a girl to get married to
So you now have a 2BHK

So you now have housing loan always in your mind
So you now have to be a hero to your kids
So you now have covered all possible stuffs with insurance
So you now have your kids name in all your passwords
So you now now remember your parents
So you now have repeated what your dad did to you
So you now have copied it all skillfully
So you now have all the money to announce retirement
So you now have screwed up with no difference
So you now had a unique life

So you now have ordered a 6 feet touchscreen grave online
So you now have visited your funeral
So you now have no choice but to be REBORN and REPEAT
So you now have a pink baby napkin...........

How to let your folks(family/parents/relatives) know that you are an atheist or rationalist

Letting them know is a painful task in a conservative and god fearing community, however try the below stuffs and see if it works.

1. Tell them  that you believe in some other religion/god instead of theirs, tell them most believers of the other god in that religion did well in their life (e.g USA/UAE)
2. Let them down at vital religious events by being absent or acting busy.
3. Act as if you are way too highly devotional than them, and make them feel as an armature religious person.
4. Confuse them with their own religious practice, like interpreting the holy book in a different dimension.
5. Make a fictional religious "miracle happened to me" story and later tell them that they are fooled.
6. Do some crazy out of the box religious practice and watch a crowd/your folks repeat the same random practice from a distance. Video tape it if possible.
7. Tell them the method they worshiped so far was blunder hence this mediocre life.
8. Create a fear among them all the time by pin pointing a particular pratice which they did by mistake. Like if they switch on the fan which put of the lamp light.Keep talking about that mistake they may stop bothering you forever. 
9. Probe their belief and do not share your opinion, just keep them guessing.
10. Tell them you met the almighty in an elevator, if they deny the possibility of meeting then accuse them for being Atheist.

Q: You could tell your folks(family/parents/relatives) that you an atheist instead of the above listed ?
Ans : why dont you try ? 

Leak from a vision(tears)

He is born crying
he cries for no reason
he cries for food
he cries to ignore food
he cries when he is sent to school
he cries on farewell day to leave the school
he cries fearing exams
he cries after its results
he cries to get a job
he cries in his job
he cries to get married
he cries after his marriage
he cries for his kids
he cries because of his kids
he cries fearing his old age
and one big crowd cries when he appears to be at peace.

Win smoking, never Quit.

Wills, Gold Flake, 555, Marlboro, though all these names relate to something grand and branded, all of this help us die, if you have suicide plan then start smoking now, it will be easy, and no FIR will be registered against your suicide attempt, this attempt will never be a failure and this does not belong to slow poisoning law of any nation, smoking is the best suicide strategy, it will kill you even if you want to survive, its powerful than the Gods, print a cigarette poster and start worshiping it, all hail cigarettes!!

It was my first year in college  when I was introduced to cigarette by my classmate, I was getting introduced to all new way of life in college, all the matured appearing men in collage took up smoking as a their birth right as they just busted the 18+ age limit set by our society , they were all proud about their smoking skills and manlyhood which they showcased when they lighted up each cigarette. I was just out of my school and smoking was a taboo for a young collage freshman nor I was inducted to this practice of burning a five rupee note every now and then. “Do you smoke”? asked my friend Rajkumar “No”, “do you booze”? “No, I don’t”, "at least drink beer?“, No dude I have never", I replied as he accused me for not experiencing any of these, "then you are a thair sadam”(curd rice). A curd rise is a poor man’s tasteless food, hence his analogy was used to criticize a me and to compare me to a baby with napkins, and to criticize my puerility towards above asked activities, I was right away put in a "geek" category which I was sure that I wasn't, and I was not in any mood to take his criticism and was keen trying my first cigarette, and stay above the par set by Rajkumar that day in front of a boys gang.

It was a morning tea break in college, we went to a small tea stall right outside our college, the tea stall was some ten meters away from college, the tea shop was owned by an ex-military uncle, a six feet tall, huge guy and he was found a physical misfit to the teashop he owned, he is bald and everyone in college referred his shop as “sotta kadai” (Bald man’s shop). He thought waging war was nothing but an approved mass murder, hence he quit his military duties and opened a tea stall near our college, however he killed us with his tasteless red hot water (also referred by him as Tea). We as students unanimously had another version about him, as why he was shown doors by Indian military. Assume the Indian army is in a hot pursuit and we have an enemy chopper flying above the sky to drop a bond on the ground squad, and if the ground squad battalion had our tea shop uncle and he being  bald, the enemy up in the chopper may not spot the camouflage army attire but his bald head would be left open and shining in the sun from the ground, hence his shining bald head would put the whole battalion in danger, hence his expulsion.

He sold tea, samosas, vadas, biscuits, chocolates and the cigarettes. Though he did not initially sell cigarettes due to his military ethics, eventually due to students demand he included cigarettes in his menu. Students in his shop experimented many styles in smoking, some lighted cigarettes using some unique lighters which even resembled a pistol instead of bullets, fire came out of the hole, some lighted up to ten cigarettes in one wax matchstick, and some did not, as lighting three cigarettes in one was considered as taboo. Few guys made a perfect ring out of a cigarette smoke, some managed to make one big smoke ring out of a cigarette smoke and send another small ring within the earlier made big smoke ring, and sometimes waves of smoke rings were even made. Few smoked cigarettes by holding them between their ring and the pony finger, similar to the way the sadhus held theirs in Varanasi (referring to cigarettes). This place will be seen crowded before the first bell, tea breaks, lunch bell and the last bell. Some guys preferred smoking outside the tea shop, since they could attract some girls passing through by showing off their manly hood and the ring making powers, and some due to the suffocation which engulfed the tea shop due to cigarettes. If a fire engine has to pass through this shop then they might even stop by to check if they could volunteer, such was the smoke rain. If passive smoking was dangerous then the uncle in the tea shop would be dead by now, but he is not hence I don’t believe in passive smoking also because of a funny incident which I encountered in a bar, once a non-smoking lady said to a smoker in a bar “do you know passive smoking is dangerous to us than the actual smoker?” the man replied “then I guess I have chosen the right option, my dear lady”.

Due to lack of enough pocket money guys had to shared cigarettes, sometimes a single cigarette was shared between six individuals, and sometimes the cigarette buds and the lips were also burned while attempting to squeeze most out of a cigarette.  During one such routine my friend Rajkumar passed a cigarette to me, I was too keen to experiment as well as get rid of the “thair sadam” criticism which he made earlier on me. Now that I was a first timer everyone in the tea shop encouraged me, all eyes in the shop was on me, and it was more like a concentration camp. Before I took the cigarette in my hand, Rajkumar gave me a virtual demonstration of how a cigarette should be inhaled and exhaled, it was close to a yoga session with numerous breathing lessons, and a handful of crowd watching my debut.

With all hope of finding miracles and unaware of what one would experience I took by first cigarette in hand, it was Gold Flake Kings, the costliest cigarette in the tea shop. Rajkumar lighted it for me and he asked me to inhale, he took a pink transparent cigarette lighter and immediately the tip of the cigarette was exposed to the fire and he said “inhale inhale” , I tried breathing in like the way I  squeezed the soda out of a bottle, I could feel enough smoke filling up my mouth. As I was inhaling I could see all my fellow classmates who are now a pro in smoking gazing at me as they see a crawling baby trying to walk by taking a first baby step, few from the even crowd volunteered with suggestion as how I should be exhaling it as well, some said that i should try exhale through nose, I did as per the instruction given and I blew my first successful exhale. Everyone in the tea shop wanting to see more of my debut, hence I continued smoking  and it was a sensation which I had never experienced before, and intermediately I was a caught up coughing due to the uneasiness and tears started rolling in my eyes as some smoke from cigarette tip filled my eyes. I was quick enough to hide it and continued smoking up the kings, my eye lids were heavy and the lids forcefully tried shutting down, I was sweating and I was high. The brand name Kings exactly fitted the feeling one would get after their first attempt. As I completed half my cigarette I passed it on and the guy sitting next to me, and he was happy to grab it, it was more like passing an Olympic torch, everyone wants to hold it and had a hard feeling and no option but to pass it. This time Rajkumar tapped me on my shoulders, and he paid for the cigaratte and he was quite happy to be my cigarette coach, and also because he baptized me to manlyhood.

From then on cigarette was travelling along with me, it was a habit which I never wanted to carry, and it was not letting me off, years passed I was neither a regular or a chain smoker, nor had I given up lighting a cigarette in a party. After college and when I started working, I found my colleague blowing up cigarette as easy as ringing a bell, many lighted up one after the other as one cigrette was not enough for a man like him, no more hiding the habit, unlike in college where we even had bunkers to light up cigarettes. Everyone had a reason to smoke. To start a day, few lighted up to get a free flow of nature call, some used it as a desert after, before or while sipping a tea, some smoked to get a stress relief from work, some just to kill time, some while they waited for a bus or anyone or anything, some did not even had a reason, some to improve the kick after sipping up some alcoholic beverage, some to give a company to a fellow smoking partner, and some still to get a girls attention, and I was not an exception.

Our caring government (never in history these words came together in a sentence), took one major step in reducing the cigarette consumption, it incorporated a black and white cartoon on every pack of cigarette sold, initially no one understood what our government or the company was trying to tell us, most thought probably now a hollow man part 3 movies promotion was made in cigarette packs, some thought it could be some printing flaw of a male model. However to clear this confusion the next day morning newspaper said it’s a cartoon of a man with troubled lungs and this could be you anytime. People were unmoved as they could no way connect to the black and white misprinted cartoon, however due to this anxiety created by government the cigarette sales grew.  

Personal loans were tossed to any guy who wore formals from Monday to Friday, so my friend bought a used car by risking on a personal loan, This car was well pampered, we roamed Bangalore city and never bored by a traffic jam because more the jam more time we spend in the car, we assumed the ring road was made for to roam around literally. Now that we were not gay we ran out to topics to talk after a particular point. We usually stopped the car in a pan shop and got a pack of gold flake kings, one full packet this  time, as I lighted my friend objected lighting cigarette in the second hand car as its new to his hands, he also made an oath that he would never smoke inside the car or allowed any. I found it’s a fair oath to take, hence we got down and lighted the cigarette. One of my other friend shifted to a brand new house, and we lighter a cigarette each inside his balcony, however I was throwing the ash from my cigarette on his balcony floor, he was disturbed on seeing the very ash throwing act of mine. He protested and provided a waste bag to throw away the ash which fell from cigarette, I felt that act fair too, as none would want a new house to be dirty and that too by an ash coming out of a cigarette. I once went to a grocery shop to purchase some vegetables, I found one tomato not in shape and close to  rotten, soon I protested with the vendor and exchanged that particular piece for another, I thought I paid only for best tomatoes from his shop. I was once shopping for a casual shirt in a mall, I noticed a splendid shirt of my taste however there was minor defect, a thread poping from one of the buttons was hanging out, and I had to let go that shirt and move on. I felt it was fair to omit that shirt since I was to pay nearly a thousand rupee to own it and wanted no defect what so ever. However when my conscious decisions to avoid a product due to a minor defects or our love towards our material world grew naturally, little did I thought what a five rupee cigarette is damaging my very health and existence.

I give an fair and immense value to a second hand car, a rented home, or even purchasing a few tomatoes which are not costlier at any point of time, a thread hanging out of the shirt. However for my health I felt I was care free. The home, car, attire or any other thing would be meaningful only if stay healthy, hence took a very easy decision that I would win over this easy attained habit, and I did it at ease.

The task was quite easy, the minute I realised that an activity becomes an accepted norm by a community if the activity do not have an "immediate adverse effect", also if the activity brings revenue to rich heads at an " immediate adverse effect" even at the cost of health of any looser and again with no"immediate adverse effect"

Now that there are many attempts made by government to stop smoking but not the cigarette, none of the smokers had bought that idea. Our government needs smokers like you, we have to run our economy at any cost, even your liver or even your life. Every other occasion when a character smokes in a movie or in your TV screen, an immediate scrolling “smoking is injurious”, which none seems to understand but only reads or be surprised if such a thing doesn’t  pops up.

What other innovative method can help grab a smoker’s attention.

Let’s say your dad, son, or your bother smokes at home, the lady counterpart could buy a pack of cigarette at home and light it up right in front of him, say you have an equal share of benefit. This is an uneasy task to do, but effective recipe for an emotional smoker. Tell him you would also light up a cigarette when he is not home. See if this works.

Force him to enroll in a life insurance policy, tell him he may die early and family would definitely need some money.

Take your family to a photo studio, tell him that we need his picture since this habit may kill him and we may not have a good family photo at all.

Take a pack of cigarette pack brand which he smoke and put that in a pooja room and tell him that he will be remembered for this habit and brand.

Do you an alternate ways?, you could share!!

After all “Smoking is Injurious to Health”

Marriage - A festival about YOU

“Marriages are made in heaven”, really?? You must be asking this to married men/women

to understand what according to them heaven is all about, while we set this quizzing aside,  some marriages are "Made in India" and which in some way are funny and interesting.

Why do you get married? If you ask this question to any guy / gal each would come up with a

fair and convincing and some unconvincing reason.

Every Indian man/women would get married in one of these 2 ways, The Love marriage and Arranged marriage, not that the arranged is an absence of love, it is more of an anxiety marriage, because both bride and groom would never know what is waiting for them, according to me in a way it’s a biggest life risk both takes, which you may not get to see in many countries except the great Sub continent, these bride and groom according to me are the real daredevils than the one you see in AXN tv.

Ideal marriage ages are fixed between 25-28years for men and 21-24 for women, and if you are'nt married at this prescribed age bracket then we are forced to assume that you have a big life problem and you are wasting your life, all your relatives and friends will be keen to know as why you are still single and lost your virginity, regardless you had broken the virginity myth earlier.

Once you cross this age bracket a common question even a stranger would ask you is "when are you getting married?" A woman goes through a greater pressure than men when they cross this age bracket. If you are in this age grade, you are considered as fresh market piece and you are likely to be picked sooner in a matrimonial site.

Now that I am not accustomed to this matrimonial classified world, thought I would check what exactly is the future bride and grooms are expecting and what they would want to showcase in their profile in a site like this. Basically how best can you sell yourself?

First thing I observed is the completion, its heavy, not referring to the competition between the .coms but the competition with the fellow groom or the bride. I could recollect my recruitment days, where I need to pick a right candidate to my company something similar.

First and the foremost is your profile picture, this is the key. A reasonable job is done if you have got the profile picture right.

You have to make sure that you sell yourself well in a matrimonial site. If you notice some profile pictures, you would always find a guy posing in front of a tall building or bridge in USA, or a snow filled background, placing one hand on an luxury car which he owns or rented with a black and brown shade sunglassess, which clearly sends you a message that he is well to do, though he would have visited USA/UK or any foreign country for a matter of two week assignment during his six years work experience.

When it comes to brides there will be a complete mismatch of how they look in a profile picture and the way they look in-person. I really believe the wonders what a makeup can do, best living example is Rajnikanth in his movies and his contrasting appearance in real life.

There are few common aspects found in the every profile in "About Me" column is , every bride and groom are kind hearted, family loving people, self proclaimed good-looking, broadminded, unconventional, very dedicated, loving, caring and sincere person” , India would be totally a different place if most of their people matched their profile description.

Most of their hobbies include listening to A.R Rehman music and photography is a common hobby everyone carries which may include pictures taken from their mobile phone, all their daughters are fair and slim, all their son will have pleasing personality, god fearing is a positive trait, most of the dads will be retired general managers and most moms are homemakers, one of their brother or sister would be married and settled in USA/Dubai or their younger ones studying in UK/Australia. Most families talk about importance of traditional values and many more, some funny stuffs which are popping up in some profile description include “participated in Jan lok pal bill movement” and “was at Delhi to protest gang rape incident”. 

Finally after rigorous shorlisting of some profile, the groom takes a weekend off and arranges minimum two or three meeting to different brides in a weekend, they make sure that they do not take leave as he would require leaves later it if a marriage is fixed and ofcourse for the honeymoon. Both parties share numbers only if they pay the .coms, usually the meeting place is in the brides house or a restaurant and in some cases temples. In a typical south Indian arranged marriages, when bride and groom(referred as daredevils henceforth) usually get to meet each other for the very first time with due permission from their parents and most of the time during their presence, this will be their first date with some tea/coffee and loads of sweets. During these meetings there would always be an uncle who prefers to take a sugarless tea. Imagine your first date with all your uncles and aunts sitting around you...Cool sintit!! You can call it a family organized first date!!

It’s the future groom who visits future brides house right at the first date not a candle light but in the morning hours along with his family members, the grooms first asses the brides fathers wealth at the first glance of his house architecture and bride side access the grooms assets from the car in which they arrive. Usually the ice braking starts with important topics like  weather, city traffic, pollution, government and IT industry etc.. An example ice breaking conversation is, lets say you work in an IT company, they will have a close relative's son/daughter who is also working in the same company you work, then they will name them and ask you if you know him/her or not, out of the two lakh colleagues you have at office, while you are still to be introduced to the person sitting in your next cubicle.  

While this important discussion are on, the daredevils will get to speak for about 15-20minutes sometimes even less, during this short period both would have got to know each other well, as both would have been through this family dating process at least half a dozen times before, by now the daredevils had become an expert in assessing another person super well than any human resource specialist.

Some daredevils are lucky to meet again and roam around, however few decades ago, the

daredevils get to meet each other right at the marriage venue a few seconds before the event and share surprises with each other...watsup buddy it’s our marriage today... !! What a heavenly surprise.

And finally out of frustration or scarcity of leaves in office or due to some pressure some marriages are fixed (everyone has a reason though)

That’s when you usually find the Face book status would change from single to Engaged with loads of likes and "you are made for each other" comments, here is an important note I realized that, only in Facebook everyone openly agrees the fact that you are made for each other and every baby born to your Facebook friend is cute, and do you think you have any other option?  And no looking back from here, within three or six months, it’s not a private ceremony it’s a festival about you - Marriage.

Can you imagine this? You getting married to a stranger and your family and friends are celebrating, this event for some is an opportunity to try some new outfits, for some it’s time to try some delicious food, for some it’s time to pose for a best photograph and upload in Facebook, for some it’s a responsibility well completed, for some it’s time to network and find a partner, for some it’s time to travel new places, for some it’s time to party and booze, for some it’s time to wear their costly saress and straighten their hair and for our bride and groom it’s time to celebrate their our festival called marriage. It has become a parents pride as more people attend your son/daughters marriage more notable person you are. So at least a bare minimum of one thousand people attend a marriage with each leaving a 500 different complaints.

I was curious to know why would one get married the Indian way and asked few, not that I went with a notepad and took note of every answer they came up with, it was more of a conversation with no intention of knowing the reason, here most volunteered with answer without being questioned and some came up with these

"this is how the world functions, this is the age you have to get married".

"If I don’t get married now, then I may not get a girl in future .. you know, the marriage

market...I may end up being some last choice.."

""""I love her"""" (the best answer I guess)

"My parents are torturing me every time I visit ma hometown.. even I thought this

is the right time.."

"I am losing my hair.. I may be bald in couple of year, Thats why dude.

"All my friends/cousins are getting married"

"Logically speaking someone should take care of me during my old age rite ? "

"If I get married now only then my younger brother could  ... you know what? he already found

a girl for himself.

"I actually delayed it.. My route was clear two years back when my younger sister got married..

I now think I am ready."

"If I get married now, I can plan for kids after 2 yrs.. until then ma wiffey n me can have

Some fun, you know what I mean"

"My girlfriend said if we not getting married now then her parents will force her to

marry another guy...and that guy is in USA now... so I din think further... "

"My parents are getting old, thought if I get married she can take care of my parents..."

"Fed up of hotel food..."

"I have only 1 month holiday while I am in long term onsite.. If I don’t get married now

then I have to wait for another 2-3yrs.."

"When my son/daughter is in his teenage I shouldn’t be appearing as a grandpa instead a

Like his very own dad”

“My waist size is increasing man”

While I was getting all this from people, some stranger asked me “BTW Ranjith.... when are you getting married?”